My husband, Kevin, and I were so grateful for our daughter. But it was a long road. Kevin is seven years my senior, so he was ready to become a parent before I was. When we finally made the decision, it took us about three years. We considered in vitro fertilization. We talked about adoption, which we believe is one of the greatest blessings in life. We also went through all kinds of testing. Then, after deciding to undergo IVF and setting up the appointment, we got pregnant on our own, proving once again that God works in amazing ways. We had prayed and prayed, and nothing had happened. And then, once we set up the IVF appointment, we kind of relaxed and our prayers were answered.
Now we have a wonderful, healthy daughter who is the light of our lives. But don’t kid yourself. Motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. You’re never off. It’s a constant challenge.
I also struggled with post-partum depression. And it was awful. If you’ve only seen me on the golf course, you might not realize it because I work hard to remain calm and even keel inside the ropes, but I am an emotional, vulnerable and sensitive person. Shay was born in the dead of winter. It was gray and cold in Texas where we live. I had a ton of weight to lose. Then, out of the blue, I had these horrible thoughts and feelings. I would burst into tears out of nowhere. My mind raced back to the way things were before. I hated that I was thinking this way. I felt like I was being pelted by this unrelenting gloom. Walking was a chore. Raising my head and speaking took work. What was going on? I didn’t know what this was, but I knew that it wasn’t me. It scared me.